Leaving the subway just now, a woman stepped on the heel of my fancy flip flops and broke my shoe. My new shoe. Which then caused a big sadness bruise on the top of my foot where the broken gold ring kept cutting into it.
My house guest is on the phone trying to decide if he is going to go hang out with a woman who continuously breaks his heart, or if he's going to continue drinking wine with me. I don't think it's a difficult choice...
Wait. I could go to the store and get avocado and tomato and bacon and bread and make my own special BLT that has avocado and also make one for lunch tomorrow. This would be better than ordering a BLT. Decided.
My two-year-old niece calls my mother "Punkin Pie." Question: Is this better or worse than Grandma?
(Backstory: when we were all in Colorado for my other sister’s wedding, my mother kept calling my niece Pumpkin Pie and Kaylee apparently just started associating that with my mother and… the rest is history. This is almost two months later and Kaylee still remembers it. I think she’s stuck with it.)
Below is word for word (with identifying details removed) an email I was just copied on by my boss. I feel like I should say something about how she's not being warm nor talking like someone who was raised on the planet earth... but... I can't.
Dear Dr. _____:
My greetings to you. I am not sure if you received the email message (included below.) I am forwarding it forthwith to your gmail account as per Dr. ____’s recommendation.
Is it cool for me to complain about my commute today? My two-subway stop commute? Because frankly, I'm used to getting to work in five minutes, and a) there were a bunch of tourists standing around with umbrellas at the entrance to the subway station and that TOTALLY delayed me about 45 seconds, and b) then I had to wait for the train for at least 7 minutes, and, c) add insult to injury, someone was keeping the doors from closing and that delayed the train at least another 2 minutes. But then the train skipped Christopher and went directly to Houston.