in the morning is when i can’t find my glasses because they fell behind my night stand or something and i am convinced they are gone forever and i will never see again.
I believe that this is true of all people who have very thick glasses (yeah yeah yeah, this means me). If those glasses are never to be seen again, that means I will be completely helpless until I get new ones.
why do you and the hubs always call each other "friend"?
Because we’re best friends. And there was some quote that we were making fun of in the beginning, but several years down the way we have forgotten what it was. Also I find general husband/wife nicknames (hubby, etc) insipid.
what do you do for a living? What did you study in college? Do you enjoy your job? You're a fucking riot.
1) I work in SBM publishing. “SMB?” you ask, “I have never heard of such a thing.” Don’t worry, it’s not very popular or fun. I work in Science, Business, and Medical publishing, specifically on Math books.
2) I went to Notre Dame and studied Theology. This has not helped me in my professional life.
3) Did you read what I do for a living? Draw your own conclusions.
Matt: So, since I’m off beer for lent, before the dinner I had two Knob Creeks on the rocks. It was basically Asshole Fuel. Me: Honey, it’s not what you were drinking, but who was drinking it, that makes it Asshole Fuel.