Just because I sit next to you and I’m really good at my job doesn’t mean that you can ask me questions all day because you’re too lazy to learn or look it up. There’s a reason that I’m short with you, and that I almost always refer you to a chart or a resource that we both have.
In conclusion, please stop.
PS - Also I was listening to a really good song and eating my lunch. Not very good timing. Maybe if you actually stood up and looked over the cube wall you’d realize you were inconveniencing me, instead of just yelling my name.
“The Last Song” is based on the novel by Nicholas Sparks, who also wrote the screenplay. Sparks recently went on record as saying he is a greater novelist than Cormac McCarthy. This is true in the same sense that I am a better novelist than William Shakespeare. Sparks also said his novels are like Greek Tragedies. This may actually be true. I can’t check it out because, tragically, no really bad Greek tragedies have survived.”—
“So about 300 years after Christ died, there lived a woman who is now known as Saint Barbara. Saint Barbara lived in Micronesia, which I’m not exactly sure where it is, but I have a feeling it’s kind of by Indonesia. Anyways, it was a little different back then, ‘cause Saint Barbara’s dad was a wealthy landowner, like an aristocrat, but he was actually fighting wars. That’s sort of one thing they did a little differently: the rich guys fought wars. Anyways, while he was gone, Saint Barbara became a Christian and you know, being a Christian back then isn’t like being a Christian right now. I’d equate it to more like if you had facial tattoos, you know? You’re kind of making a statement being a Christian 300 years after Christ. There wasn’t even Christian rock. Anyways, Saint Barbara’s dad came home from the war and found out his daughter became a Christian and he was pissed, and if you think your dad’s been pissed at you, Saint Barbara’s dad was more pissed, and so he ordered her to be executed. And whoever makes the decisions on those kinds of things in Micronesia back then said, ‘Let’s go a little bit further, ‘cause, you know, we can’t just execute her. Saint Barbara’s dad, why don’t you execute your own daughter?’ And he was like, ‘Awesome, I will.’ So they rolled her into the town square or wherever these things happen and Saint Barbara’s dad beheaded his own daughter. But, it didn’t end up so well for him either, ‘cause he was walking home to go have a feast or whatever you do after an execution, and a bolt of lightning came from the sky, and it struck him dead. Saint Barbara is now the patron saint of land mines, or, more specifically, not stepping on a land mine. And this song is called ‘Don’t Let Me Explode.’”- Craig Finn
This is my favorite live version of one of my favorite Hold Steady songs.